Crossroads

So a couple of days ago Jesse made a comment that startled me when I heard it, but, to be honest,  was not surprising.

Jesse said "so, what do you think about moving out on your own?"

Of course, I did not react in horror,  but I did recall our conversation when we first becane roomates...that there was a high likelihood that the day would come that his girlfriend and her boys (brandi & the boys) would move into his life & home...and would I mind living with them if and when the time arrived. I had said I believed it would be alright.
Over the past few years I have become close to those boys and Brandi. Brandi and I have even discussed how life would be.
Jesse,  on the other hand, had not been very talkative to me or Brandi.  It was perplexing.

So it has been for a while. Brandi has been anxious,  frustrated,  patient,  tolerant, hopeful, etc and ultimately accepting..because no matter what,  Jesse has been helpful when its comes to her and the kids. Still, I realize her fears, too.

So the first persons I spoke to were Shard in Ft Worth, Cassie in Kemp, Melinda in Waco.

Shard is gay & in recovery. Much like me in that he can totally relate to the feeling like a 3rd wheel etc.  But also being gay and in recovery.

Cassie is close to me because she is in my home group and I had just visited her & Les and there right across the street was the neatest small garage apartment...that cassie described was gorgeous and it looked awesome to me, even possible.  So I was in conversation with her about the thoughts of the future. .and well; my wanting to know if that place was ever coming open. Its hopeful.

Melinda is my neice; lives in a duplex next to my brother Mark. The idea of living close to or with my brother Mark's family has always been appealing.  She even made the comment that if ever either of her 2 boys moved out that possibly I could become a roomate.

..to be continued. ..time for church.

(Below is text I sent to Regina)
Thank you for helping me.  I am no closer to whatever crossroad is ahead but my faith its going to be okay when I get there is stronger.