A new day

Well, yesterday was a bit on the tense side there for a while in the morning, but by afternoon if was quite alright. I had an run in , so to speak with a dear friend, and until I settled down and new things were alright, my stomach was in knots. The process of settling down was a process. The incident occurred as he left to go Christmas shopping..alone. I would have enjoyed going, but he didn’t want that. So, I grumbled, even spoke loudly as he left. I had a difficult time believing that was what was going on. But, in a nutshell, I truly do not have that kind of control over his actions..nor do I want it. He is my best friend. I was actually more upset inside over the fact I had not known whether or not he had received my amends for waking him up the day before..because he never acknowledged nor accepted it, so, I felt I was left hanging. Anyway, after he drove off, I was fuming, and called a friend….she knew i was upset. And, as I spoke with her, it wasn’t a control issue I was concerned with. I realized it had more to do with the silent treatment. I felt “out of the loop” and with me out of the loop, where did this leave this bond of friendship?  After hanging up the phone, I went to the side of my bed, and knelt and spoke with God…asking Him to watch over my friend, and to help me let it go. And, I felt obliged to write an apology for my actions, and left a note on the table. I laid down and went to sleep. Two hours later, I woke up, and realized my friend had texted me..from his shopping trip. I was in the middle of replying and he arrived home. He and I sat down and spoke. He was honest with me from the get go..he thought I had accused him of lying..and I hadn’t..I was saying he was being secretive and not telling all the truth about what was going on. That isn’t exactly the same thing..unless you consider it lying by omission. I think of that as a different situation. Anyway, we spoke, and cleared the air. I realize he has never “shit” on me or our relationship…and that was my greatest fear. It has happened to me in the past by other people I had been close to..and I just do not have the energy to go through that type of situation again.  Anyway, I feel better today. Later.