July 12, 2010 On thinking, and Desires

I wonder why I think so very much. Often, I find my mind wonders. I was at Body Sculpt this very morning, and i discovered my mind elsewhere in the midst of the class. I struggled just a bit, but I was able re-focus my mind into my efforts at working out. The more I am able to zero in on following the instructions, the more I find I am absorbed in the moment. This is a good thing, especially since it is a daily goal of mine. I am so easily distracted with things..be they right here at the present, something in the past, or something as yet to happen.  This is wasted energy and added stress, if you ask me. It gets better, though, each time I am able to re-focus myself into the moment. I am thinking that this is one of the reasons I enjoy working out so-it is just me, my music and my goal to have a good work out.

I also am trying to understand why it is I am attracted to this person, or that person. Its all totally understandable on the physical plane when we are speaking of the near perfect physique…but, when you throw in the personality..for me, that is a whole new set of standards. I have met many pleasant to the eyes people, and then, when their personality comes across as snobbish it totally destroys any intrigue or desire to know them even better. The ones that truly win my heart and desire usually have the not so perfect body, but a winning personality either with wits, humor, or knowledge…or some combination there of. The other added feature that so wins my heart is their sincere interest in me as their friend and associate.  On the flip-side are the fake, insincere and snobbish individuals. I feel ill inside when I hear that type (male or female) share at group…I rarely have any opportunity to hear them out here in the world..for that, I am grateful. My struggle is to keep myself in check when it comes to the ones who’ve won my heart..I do not lust after them..I truly enjoy their friendship..and so, I must keep focused on what is truly wonderful in our relationship. I do not know why I have no one special in my life to be my partner..maybe its best this way, too…because since i have no partner, I am better able to enjoy my companions in life for what they do offer me..and quite possibly, I am better able to offer them back a true friend in life.

Later.