…on rejection May 29, 2010

As I look back, yesterday was actually a very good day for me. I got up early enjoyed a few moments of Joyce Meyer, had a cup of coffee and made it to my morning classes at the gym. (body sculpt and then prime timers)  This is also while I am healing from a blister on the bottom of my right foot. Anyway, after that, I got my laundry together and made it to the laundry and read my meditation at the Yellow Rose.  This is a common practice for me-each time I do my laundry, I also read my meditations while enjoying coffee and salad at the Yellow Rose (its next door to the Laundromat ..most convenient).  As I am accomplishing all this, I am running through my head the schedule of my week-end. I had been on the phone the evening before with Gene, and from what I understood of the conversation, he and his son Carson would be joining me. I tried several attempts throughout the day to touch bases, but did not succeed. That evening, I did reach Nancy (his mom) and she said he and Carson were in Athens at the Fiddler’s Day celebration. Cool.  (it would have been nice to have been invited, but i don’t have to be invited to everything) (rejection sensation…poor me). Then, that afternoon, my cousin Shane texts me about the AA Round-up convention going on in Dallas…it was his way of saying come on up and join in the celebration in recovery..but, since I was already sensing rejection, I didn’t hear that..only read the fact he didn’t come right out and invite me. (rejection sensation..why am I so fricking sensitive?)  And when I arrived at the gym, too late to really get a good work-out, I crossed paths with William, and he invited me to join him and others at Chili’s later for Rachel’s farewell. (she’s moving away and will be missed at the OC gym). I did, and had an enjoyable evening with people I workout with at the gym and even met a most interesting friend of William’s, Jeremy. It was very good to have a spiritual and educated conversation with Jeremy. It was later in the evening, Rachel came and sat by our end of the table and visited. It was in this conversation I learned that Michael was moving in with some friend of a co-worker to help them out with their expenses since their room-mate is moving out. I am going through much the same thing this month. Now, here is the poor pitiful me part..I was feeling a sense of rejection because someone else was getting a room-mate but I wasn’t. Yes, I know this is all in my mind. It is not all about me, when it comes to what other people decide to do, even when their decision and plans do not include me it is not a rejection of me. It is just their decision to do something that doesn’t include me. I have to remember this to reach the point of acceptance and move on. I remind myself, too, that I am accepted, many times,and even asked to be  included here and there. I had Heather call me last night at 9:09..asking how I was. I had Robbie text me at 8:07 asking where I was and why I wasn’t at the meeting. And then, there was Bill, who texted me at just after 10:30pm saying he missed me at the meeting, and was I okay. Oh yeah, then there was Jesse, who’d tried to call me early on, but I missed his call, and we spoke for a little while after 9:30 catching up on the day and all. This was perfect timing with Jesse calling me because this was the same time I was being over-whelmed with a sense of rejection I was getting after leaving Chili’s.  And just a few moments ago, Jeri called me to remind me and ask me to join her in Mabank to watch Gina and her family perform at the Arts Festival.  Rejected? Nah.  I can easily fool myself into believing such things, though. It is times like this that I remind myself how much I have to be grateful for with God and the  many many caring people in my life.  Later.